How to Stay in Love when Shadows Arise
Have you ever been in love? If yes, then you know that after the honeymoon phase, more frequent hiccups start to happen. Suddenly the “Oh so perfect one!” you thought, is not so perfect any more.. Right?
Well, in our dog world, it’s pretty simple.. just stay present and enjoy the moment. But since this Blog is intended for hoomans, let’s analyze this further, shall we? ;-)
Let’s say you are on the lookout for a puppy: Suddenly, everywhere you look, there are pawrents with their dogs approaching you, seeking your love and attention. “Dogs love me”, you say. “I should definitely have a dog”, you convince yourself. Especially when you start imagining all the fun adventures you will experience together and all the cuddles and joy it’ll bring into your life. The more you think about it, the more in love you fall with the idea of bringing a pup to your home.
So now you finally made the decision to have a dog. You head to the shelter and there it is. This amazing pup staring at you with big puppy eyes jumps on your lap and your heart melts. “Love at first sight”, you think. So you adopt the pup and take it home. Total love story!
Weeks go by and one day you get home from work... just to discover that your adorable pup has destroyed your favorite shoes and peed on your freshly cleaned carpet. #busted
Suddenly, that loving feeling begins to turn into an anxious one. But hey, your pup is so sorry and gives you that look (yeah you know that look!). It makes everything go away, Right?
So you forgive and forget. But, what if it doesn’t end there? What if every single day you come home something else is being destroyed? Or, the neighbors start leaving notes on your door saying, “your pup has been barking all day, do something!”
Now you start wondering if you made the right decision. Maybe you got the wrong dog. Or maybe it wasn’t the perfect timing for your lifestyle. And just like that, you allow the shadows of doubt and fears fill your heart.
Let’s try a different scenario for those pup-less hoomans. How about dreaming about starting your own business? Pawsome right? You get to pursue your life purpose and be your own boss. No more 9-to-5 office jobs with rules that don’t sit well with you. So you embark on this so-called entrepreneurial journey. Soon enough, you realize that your 9-to-5 became a 5-to-9, plus weekends. Was it worth it? Are you still in love with your business idea? Life was easier before, wasn’t it?
And last, but not least, the oh so lovely desire of finding your soulmate. Yes, that hooman companion who will complete your pawrent’s lives and then live happily ever after. Yes, just like in the movies!
So your hoomans plant the idea in their minds, create their online dating profile (let’s face it, where else would they meet if they work from 5-to-9, plus weekends!) and head back to the gym to attract the best partner out there. And one day, when they least expect it, their eyes meet their soulmate.. butterflies and fairies dance around them. Cool right?
Months go by and now those butterflies feel more like stomach cramps, and instead of fairies they feel hunted by trolls.
So now they wonder if the right soulmate is still yet to be found. Shouldn’t everything be easy with the Right One? Time to reactivate that dating profile!
Hoomans!! After observing Mom’s behavior for over twelve years, I can certainly say she has experienced all of these scenarios. And in most of them as soon as things got rough, her plan in action was finding the easiest exit strategy, just so I can relive everything all over again. #luckydog
Fortunately after many trials and errors, she has learned that every experience is an opportunity to face her internal shadows and fears. But if you don’t do the work, those patterns will continue to hunt you. So, understanding neither the puppy, the business nor the romantic partner are to blame for your circumstances. Instead, they are showing up just in time to help you grow. #massivebreakthrough
How else would you practice what you learn?
So next time challenges arise, ask yourself, “What’s the lesson in this situation?” and, “How can I make this better?” See the challenges as blessings, as these are enhancing your relationship with yourself and the external world.
It takes a second to change our perspective from a place of shadows to an attitude full of pawsitivity. The choice is yours!
Love & Paws,